Unhealthy Habit Fix #2: Envy
At some point in time, we’ve all experienced some form of envy: Our neighbors house was remodeled, our sister got that big promotion, that asshole from high school took a month-long vacation to Europe; it’s inevitable to feel green, and I would bet that most people, even the most saintly of saints, feel it, too.
A small dose of envy can be a big motivator for some people. Seeing others succeed lights a fire under their ass and suddenly their well in their way to accomplishing those dreams and taking those big chances.
But often times, the envy that we feel becomes overwhelming, and we begin questioning “why not me?”
This territory is dangerous and unproductive. It leads to negative thought patterns, lower self-confidence, and is a huge de-motivator.
So, how do we adjust our mindset and alleviate our innate need to constantly compare ourselves to others?
Below I’ve listed a few tips that I have found made a huge difference in my own life. Apply some, apply all, but I can promise if you take even one of these tips and apply it to your life, you’ll feel better.
- Remove social media
Social media can be a wonderful, valuable tool when used the way it should be; problem is, most of the general populace is addicted to it and use it in a way that causes more harm than good.
Do I think you need to completely delete all your profiles like I did? No, not necessarily (though I do recommend trying it sometime).
Start small, with simply removing the apps from your phone, or setting a time limit for use.
When you’re not constantly scrolling through others people lives, it’s not as easy to get down when theirs is “better” than yours.
2. Remind yourself that no one has the perfect life
The amount of times I’ve looked at someone else’s blog post or social media story and thought “damn, they’ve got it all” is a scarily high number.
It isn’t true, and we’ve gotta stop doing that to ourselves. That asshole from high school I mentioned earlier? He’s in debt up to his eyeballs affording his extravagant lifestyle, but of course he’s not gonna post THAT part of his life.
The neighbors who just had renovations done? They are teetering in the edge of divorce and are about to out their house on the market.
Our sister that got that big promotion? Is now spending more time away from her family than ever before.
All of these people have something they’re missing.
3. Practice being thankful by being a child
I hear this one a lot, but I found it hard to practice myself. The whole “morning affirmations/gratitude” thing didn’t really work for me. What DID though, is taking the time to view my life from the outside.
Taking a step back into my childhood, and viewing my life through the lens of 10 year old me is eye-opening. I have a nice house, a fantastic husband, a beautiful daughter, a car, I’ve taken vacations, and while my life may be modest by comparison, to my inner child, I am living her DREAM.
We must stop and remember how far we’ve come, even in our lowest points.
I hope that these few tips can help you overcome your constant need for comparison. I know that sometimes I slip up, and that’s okay!
What matters is that I take the time to get back on track and remember that what others present is never the whole truth, and that if I stay in my own lane, I can go as fast or as slow as I want, and there’s no one else there to stop me
