Leaving Our Connection to Feel More Connected: Lessons in Minimalism
Yes, even with a toddler in tow and a crazy job.
There is very little doubt that minimalism has taken the world by storm and encouraged people across all generations to “clean house”, both literally and figuratively.
When I was first introduced, I didn’t have a kid. Keeping my spaces tidy and clutter-free was a breeze, but I never felt like I had truly accomplished what it meant to be minimalistic. I was still stressed, unsettled, and no matter how much I emptied my house, there was still this nagging, defeated feeling I just couldn’t shake.
That all changed when I had my daughter.
Suddenly, my home was overrun with toys, books, play things, and well, everything!
So after about 6 months of absolute chaos, I decided to give minimalism a chance again, but with a totally different approach.
Decluttering, Awareness and Perspective
Of course, I did the physical decluttering because my poor house needed it.
I applied all the principles from Marie Kondo about only keeping things that “sparked joy”, though I had to keep some stuff because I had a baby. At first, I was a little irritated because let’s get real, a diaper bag, tons of toys, and all this extra shit did NOT bring me joy.
But something interesting happened when I shifted my perspective. Instead of feeling guilty and grumpy about it, I decided that providing for my baby brought me so much joy that it it didn’t matter how much “stuff” I had to keep. Besides, all of it would be gone eventually anyway, right?
But the biggest change by far came when I started to declutter my lifestyle. Now, a lot of gurus will tell you that mindfulness and meditation are the keys to feeling settled, but when I have a 20 month old running around, there isn’t a TON of time for that kind of self-work.
Instead, I began to shift into awareness.
I practiced staying present in whatever moment I was in, shooing away intrusive thoughts about the next day or what I should be doing.
It wasn’t easy, either. It still isn’t.
But I have found the more I focus on the task at hand, the more weightless I feel.
Leaving Our Connection to Feel More Connected
By far the most important thing I did was start leaving my phone in the car, or out of reach/earshot when I was doing other things that needed my attention, like playing with my daughter, or working.
GASP. I know right? We’ve all grown so accustomed to having that little device attached to us at all times it seems insane to leave it somewhere.
And before you say “Well, my job…” I am a REALTOR. My business is primarily conducted over the phone.
But I remember what it was like as a kid, when we would leave the house, and if someone was trying to reach us, well, they just had to wait.
It’s crazy to think how connected we all are now, that we literally cannot go anywhere without being connected, thus being constantly bombarded with everything.
It’s no wonder why it’s so difficult for most, including myself, to practice minimalism.
Our constant connectedness has completely disconnected us from reality.
But that doesn’t mean we can’t work on that.
Take the Time to Play
Something else that really helped me get connected with my life was letting my inner child out to play.
Which, by the way, is super fun when you have a toddler.
Everything is so new and exciting to them, and if you allow yourself to connect to those precious moments, you’ll find that it’s relatively easy to play.
Share in their wonder and awe, and I promise you’ll find stress melting away, and connection with the world around you growing.
Final Thoughts
Maybe to some, all of this advice doesn’t really connect to minimalism, or at least what one may think of when they hear the word.
But, in a world that is full of chaos and clutter, the literal and figurative kind, minimalism is simply being.
Being happy, being present, being you.
